Agreed Evan! Two things - something I've noticed is that many things are being shared out of context, and folks assume what they are seeing is an accurate depiction of what the "pamphlet" for example said. When I followed the cookie crumbs to the original pamphlet - what is shared is not the intent and so things are being misconstrued out of context. Yet people are so stuck in their positions they are unwilling to look beyond the obvious. The second thing worth mentioning. I asked my 12 year old granddaughter if there were any gay, or trans kids in her class. She rattled off examples with of both and identified another as Bisexual. I have to admit I was surprised. I asked how the kids in the class treated them. She said like every other kid. I asked how many kids in her grade 6/7 split class, she said 30! It was a total none issue for her and it sounds like for her classmates.
Kids who are raised in an open and compassionate environment and system - crazy as it seems turn out to be open and compassionate kids. Isn't that what we want for the next generation?
My daughter has said the same thing -- she knew she was gay by the time she was 14, but it took her another year or more to convince me and her dad that this was real and permanent, not just "a phase she was going through".
This was back in the 90s -- thank heavens that even then we had PFLAG to educate us. I hope parents today are more knowledgeable than we were, but I suspect there are still too many parents of today's teenagers who are products of the Bush / Harper years.
So first, empathy and tons of power in your journey.
As for the correct age, I took a little Early Childhood Education and we used Piaget (don't know if he's still in favour, this was like 40+ yeas ago) and he mentioned the developmental stages, basically by 4-7 you have a good understanding of self and surroundings.
Anyway.
I think oddly enough we need to stop public funding for Catholic and religious schools altogether. I went through the Public system and well, my first friend growing up was gay and I accepted him but it was tough b/c I'm a straight dude so...but he found love as he grew. People do need to deal with this stuff. Like I have a millennial friend and he was like "I was listening to "Friends" and it's casually homophobic which is awful." and yeah, he's right. But these days I don't hear people calling others "f---" slurs and stuff. Trans people are the target b/c they're a hyper-minority, but hopefully Higgs gets voted out from his caucus.
IDK, it's a lot to bear but I've got two years to prepare for Poilievre as PM with a majority as per Abacus and Eric Grenier so I'm getting my ducks in a row.
What is the right way to respond to deeply concerning but obviously untrue allegations?
Fact, dispassionate facts. All the people that are claiming to be worried about indoctrination of children have never taken the time or effort to read what is in the actual curriculum. It is not hard to find, yet they prefer to believe their favourite bad faith actor. After all, it is a lot easier to be upset than to analyze and think about a complex issue.
And focusing on facts, as passionless as possible, does two things. First it makes the bigots look like idiots, but secondly, and more importantly, it gives the reasonable and good faith people (which I believe are in the majority) the information to come to their own conclusions.
Thank you Evan for your sensitive and sensible post. Any idea why there are no academically published pointers to the best time and way to engage with children on this complex, personal issue? Or maybe there are but no one quotes them? It would be helpful to be able to quote the evidence when having a disagreement about the best way to educate children.
Love the article.. very personal to you certainly.. but even more it’s a fair shot at what I call ‘Situational Ethics’
My general sense is that Partisan ‘Right Wing’ zealotry is far more rabidly incensed about anyone ‘not aligned with them’
or ‘not like them’ than Partisan ‘Left Wing’ zealots.. but if ‘religion and/or ‘god’ is on their side.. whatever.. it’s the same result.
That aside.. to me little is ‘binary or Black .. most everything is within vast spectrums.. & other ‘comorbid’ personal issues or ‘beliefs or ‘wishes’
simply compound their ‘feelings’.. and or confusions or misconceptions
I knew young kids in primary & secondary school - in Toronto & then in farm country, southern Ontario who were obviously ‘different’ - that was mainly because I’m highly attuned to people’s ‘way of being’ .. whatever the hell it is. I came down from U of Guelph as a jock.. Varsity Football & Basketball as had applied via Canada Manpower to The Hayloft Pit & Tavern.. to be trained & work as a waiter.. fully 1/2 or more of the staff were queer folk & almost every one of them were talented & accomplished creative artists in some form of ‘the arts’ .. Jazz Drummer, Modern Dance, Poets, Painters, a Rock Flautist, a wanna be Wine Steward & Vintner & as I often say.. they were a total blast, hilarious.. and amazing skilled waiters, receptionists, chefs, bartenders, managers.. we had total fun, made BIG $ & hung out after.. or even in the bar for ‘Staff Price’ drafts we called ‘staffers’. One of them gave the nickname I’ve had the rest of my life.. timbertom. Same re people of colour - I only met black persons prior .. who were black.. & only because we were jocks. They loved when I went blackface to honour my heroes, like Kareem, Cassius & Jackie Robinson.. and they had no idea who I really was at first at halloween parties
So who fits the ‘spectrum’ near me ? What % of Canadians ? Another issue for me is that I was truly a feral orphan, with a big sister .. who were abandoned on Toronto Island.. & was bullied & assaulted ‘for being different in Moore Park’ & in Catholic Schools until 12. FYI Who were the most vicious of them all ? The Brothers at De La Salle where I was assaulted almost daily & so was another kid.. talk about ‘when god’s on your side’. Complain at home to my grandparents, Aunts or Uncle ? Are you kidding ? More assault So yes.. I’m highly attuned to way too many things.. One of my best pals, & my Best Man told me his son was ‘coming out’ one day.. “Cool !” .. We both knew.. that I knew years earlier.. but I guess he ‘had to say it’ to sort of ‘formalize it’
Sorry for being so long winded.. but I also want to say.. I don’t believe I knew or know a single queer folk.. that went through your level of emotional distress & challenge.. at 71 years old I believe my finest moments are yet to come as a ‘defender’ & student of Culture & Technology a la Marshall McLuhan.. I’m a natural borne ‘slow learner’ but I do learn. My son or my grandchildren ? I’m there to support their ‘Dreams, Needs & Wishes to the MAX.. and say the very same for total strangers.. & all I expect from others.. is at least Play Fair.. in ‘all you do.. & your ‘way of being’ - my big sister led the charge.. I was right behind her.. we broke the mould & shrugged off the ‘’parents who dumped us.. Your Observation in this excellent writing ? Totally valid .. and I bet you most of those you describe would deny, deny deny .. It’s ‘just their way of being’ - so who is actually ‘in that closet eh ! 🦎🏴☠️
Now, how to inject your good sense into the existing dialogue?
Agreed Evan! Two things - something I've noticed is that many things are being shared out of context, and folks assume what they are seeing is an accurate depiction of what the "pamphlet" for example said. When I followed the cookie crumbs to the original pamphlet - what is shared is not the intent and so things are being misconstrued out of context. Yet people are so stuck in their positions they are unwilling to look beyond the obvious. The second thing worth mentioning. I asked my 12 year old granddaughter if there were any gay, or trans kids in her class. She rattled off examples with of both and identified another as Bisexual. I have to admit I was surprised. I asked how the kids in the class treated them. She said like every other kid. I asked how many kids in her grade 6/7 split class, she said 30! It was a total none issue for her and it sounds like for her classmates.
Kids who are raised in an open and compassionate environment and system - crazy as it seems turn out to be open and compassionate kids. Isn't that what we want for the next generation?
Same experience here. My children in elementary school think that none of this is remarkable or a problem at all.
"Being gay isn’t something that I chose"
My daughter has said the same thing -- she knew she was gay by the time she was 14, but it took her another year or more to convince me and her dad that this was real and permanent, not just "a phase she was going through".
This was back in the 90s -- thank heavens that even then we had PFLAG to educate us. I hope parents today are more knowledgeable than we were, but I suspect there are still too many parents of today's teenagers who are products of the Bush / Harper years.
So first, empathy and tons of power in your journey.
As for the correct age, I took a little Early Childhood Education and we used Piaget (don't know if he's still in favour, this was like 40+ yeas ago) and he mentioned the developmental stages, basically by 4-7 you have a good understanding of self and surroundings.
Anyway.
I think oddly enough we need to stop public funding for Catholic and religious schools altogether. I went through the Public system and well, my first friend growing up was gay and I accepted him but it was tough b/c I'm a straight dude so...but he found love as he grew. People do need to deal with this stuff. Like I have a millennial friend and he was like "I was listening to "Friends" and it's casually homophobic which is awful." and yeah, he's right. But these days I don't hear people calling others "f---" slurs and stuff. Trans people are the target b/c they're a hyper-minority, but hopefully Higgs gets voted out from his caucus.
IDK, it's a lot to bear but I've got two years to prepare for Poilievre as PM with a majority as per Abacus and Eric Grenier so I'm getting my ducks in a row.
What is the right way to respond to deeply concerning but obviously untrue allegations?
Fact, dispassionate facts. All the people that are claiming to be worried about indoctrination of children have never taken the time or effort to read what is in the actual curriculum. It is not hard to find, yet they prefer to believe their favourite bad faith actor. After all, it is a lot easier to be upset than to analyze and think about a complex issue.
And focusing on facts, as passionless as possible, does two things. First it makes the bigots look like idiots, but secondly, and more importantly, it gives the reasonable and good faith people (which I believe are in the majority) the information to come to their own conclusions.
Thank you Evan for your sensitive and sensible post. Any idea why there are no academically published pointers to the best time and way to engage with children on this complex, personal issue? Or maybe there are but no one quotes them? It would be helpful to be able to quote the evidence when having a disagreement about the best way to educate children.
Love the article.. very personal to you certainly.. but even more it’s a fair shot at what I call ‘Situational Ethics’
My general sense is that Partisan ‘Right Wing’ zealotry is far more rabidly incensed about anyone ‘not aligned with them’
or ‘not like them’ than Partisan ‘Left Wing’ zealots.. but if ‘religion and/or ‘god’ is on their side.. whatever.. it’s the same result.
That aside.. to me little is ‘binary or Black .. most everything is within vast spectrums.. & other ‘comorbid’ personal issues or ‘beliefs or ‘wishes’
simply compound their ‘feelings’.. and or confusions or misconceptions
I knew young kids in primary & secondary school - in Toronto & then in farm country, southern Ontario who were obviously ‘different’ - that was mainly because I’m highly attuned to people’s ‘way of being’ .. whatever the hell it is. I came down from U of Guelph as a jock.. Varsity Football & Basketball as had applied via Canada Manpower to The Hayloft Pit & Tavern.. to be trained & work as a waiter.. fully 1/2 or more of the staff were queer folk & almost every one of them were talented & accomplished creative artists in some form of ‘the arts’ .. Jazz Drummer, Modern Dance, Poets, Painters, a Rock Flautist, a wanna be Wine Steward & Vintner & as I often say.. they were a total blast, hilarious.. and amazing skilled waiters, receptionists, chefs, bartenders, managers.. we had total fun, made BIG $ & hung out after.. or even in the bar for ‘Staff Price’ drafts we called ‘staffers’. One of them gave the nickname I’ve had the rest of my life.. timbertom. Same re people of colour - I only met black persons prior .. who were black.. & only because we were jocks. They loved when I went blackface to honour my heroes, like Kareem, Cassius & Jackie Robinson.. and they had no idea who I really was at first at halloween parties
So who fits the ‘spectrum’ near me ? What % of Canadians ? Another issue for me is that I was truly a feral orphan, with a big sister .. who were abandoned on Toronto Island.. & was bullied & assaulted ‘for being different in Moore Park’ & in Catholic Schools until 12. FYI Who were the most vicious of them all ? The Brothers at De La Salle where I was assaulted almost daily & so was another kid.. talk about ‘when god’s on your side’. Complain at home to my grandparents, Aunts or Uncle ? Are you kidding ? More assault So yes.. I’m highly attuned to way too many things.. One of my best pals, & my Best Man told me his son was ‘coming out’ one day.. “Cool !” .. We both knew.. that I knew years earlier.. but I guess he ‘had to say it’ to sort of ‘formalize it’
Sorry for being so long winded.. but I also want to say.. I don’t believe I knew or know a single queer folk.. that went through your level of emotional distress & challenge.. at 71 years old I believe my finest moments are yet to come as a ‘defender’ & student of Culture & Technology a la Marshall McLuhan.. I’m a natural borne ‘slow learner’ but I do learn. My son or my grandchildren ? I’m there to support their ‘Dreams, Needs & Wishes to the MAX.. and say the very same for total strangers.. & all I expect from others.. is at least Play Fair.. in ‘all you do.. & your ‘way of being’ - my big sister led the charge.. I was right behind her.. we broke the mould & shrugged off the ‘’parents who dumped us.. Your Observation in this excellent writing ? Totally valid .. and I bet you most of those you describe would deny, deny deny .. It’s ‘just their way of being’ - so who is actually ‘in that closet eh ! 🦎🏴☠️